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Completing an estate plan is never a simple process since part of each couple’s discussion involves sensitive topics such as finding and valuing assets, reviewing family relationships and, ultimately, their mortality.

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But getting to the final plan becomes even more complex if the family was formed with the couple bringing together children from different relationships. With blended families, a detailed examination of assets, strategic planning and transparent communications are needed to build a plan that satisfies all parties.

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Couples that have built their wealth and family together often share goals for supporting their children, but this is sometimes not as straightforward with blended families.

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Some may have been together for decades, while others form later in life, with each partner bringing separate financial histories and asset portfolios. Differences in age, earning capacity and financial obligations from previous relationships can add further complications.

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Cohabitation and prenuptial agreements can help address issues early on in a relationship, such as which assets are jointly held or the responsibility for past commitments, but continued differences in view can lead to confusion or disputes when planning the estate.

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One way to break through is to take the approach of “starting from the end.” This means working together to define your legacy, the values you want to pass on and how to support the family after you’re gone.

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Before the tough conversations start, a good place to begin is to put together detailed net worth statements so there is a common understanding of the financial landscape. This includes real estate, investments, pensions and insurance policies. Seeing the numbers will help you think clearly about what’s available and result in better decisions when moving to the deeper issue of allocating assets.

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Achieving consensus between you and your partner is the ultimate goal, and revisiting your original intentions is often needed. A central concern is clarifying each partner’s intentions on asset distribution, or who gets what. Simply splitting the estate equally amongst the children can often fall short of creating true equity and meeting each child’s needs.

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Taking a customized approach with the understanding that fairness does not need to equate to equality may create a better outcome. For example, a child with special needs or health concerns may require more long-term support than financially independent siblings. Also, some assets may be sentimentally linked to one side of the family, and you may wish to see particular children inherit them.

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Once the estate plan is complete, communication with the whole family is essential. Your plans shouldn’t be a surprise to your beneficiaries. Unfortunately, sibling rivalry, longstanding grievances, and blended family conflicts can arise without proper communication.

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Holding a well-facilitated family meeting that allows for frank, open discussions about your decisions can help diffuse tensions and create understanding. It’s important to note that a will is your document and does not have to consist solely of cold legal facts. Consider adding personal letters, advice and anecdotes alongside your will to humanize the document and make it less transactional.