Christine Dawood, the widow who lost her husband and son in the Titan Submersible disaster three years ago, said she remembers getting their remains back nine months after the implosion in two small boxes like "shoeboxes.""We didnt get the bodies for nine months," Dawood told the Guardian in a story published on Saturday. "Well, when I say bodies, I mean the slush that was left. They came in two small boxes, like shoeboxes."She added that "There wasnt much they could find" of Shahzada Dawood, 48, and their son, Suleman, 19, of London, after the implosion."They have a big pile they cant separate, all mixed DNA, and they asked if I wanted some of that, too. But I said no, just what you know is Suleman and Shahzada."Shahzada and Suleman were killed along with OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush, businessman Hamish Harding and Titanic expert Paul-Henri Nargeolet, when the submersible imploded as it descended toward the Titanic wreck in the North Atlantic Ocean on June 18, 2023.OCEANGATE TITAN SUBMERSIBLE DAMAGED ON MULTIPLE DIVES BEFORE CATASTROPHIC IMPLOSION, NTSB REPORT FINDSDawood told the Guardian she remembers the last time she saw her husband and son that morning they got in the submersible as she battled seasickness aboard the ship that took them out to where they descended."Suleman had his Rubiks Cube, because he was planning to get the record for solving it at the deepest depth ever," she remembered. "And we were giggling, because Shahzada is clumsy and when he was going down the stairs he was wobbling a bit. I waved. And that was it. They got into a dinghy and sped off. It went very fast, the goodbye."A few hours later in the ships dining room, Dawood heard someone say: "Theyve lost communications."When they realized she overheard, the person added: "Dont worry, its not unusual. In that moment, what am I supposed to do? I felt trapped on that ship and I had no choice but to trust what they told me."She said she tried to keep her anxiety at bay, telling herself, "they were stuck" in the submersible.LYNETTE HOOKER MISSING IN BAHAMAS: TIMELINE OF MICHIGAN WOMANS DISAPPEARANCE, HUSBANDS ARREST"But I was worried. Suleman is not well, both my men, theyre not very good at being in the dark, and I knew it would be a very different darkness down there. Nothing. You literally cant see a thing," she said.She said everyone on the ship was in complete denial."The crew were [acting] like nothing was happening," she said, saying the crew suggested it would just take time for the crew to be found unharmed."It did cross my mind that OceanGate had ulterior motivations about what they told us," she added. "They were just trying to avoid the truth. But I would have deteriorated a lot quicker without hope."As they waited, she said the crew scheduled jamming sessions and movies to pass the time.AMERICAN COUPLE'S BAHAMAS DINGHY WAS ILL-EQUIPPED FOR CONDITIONS NIGHT OF WIFE'S DISAPPEARANCE: FRIEND"Ultimately, I think they wanted to distract people, keep everyone occupied," she said. "They wanted everyone onside, not to feed anything to the press. But jamming sessions? Am I really going to sit there and sing Kumbaya? I did try to give a movie a go, but when I got there it felt like an act of betrayal. Watching Waynes World while they are trapped in the dark did not sit well with me."After an extensive search, the remains of the submersible were found on the ocean floor.The U.S. Coast Guard called it a "catastrophic implosion.""My first thought was, thank God," Dawood said. "When they said catastrophic, I knew Shahzada and Suleman didnt even know about it. One moment they were there and the next they werent. Knowing they didnt suffer has been so important. Theyre gone, but the way they went does somehow make it easier."Once she knew they were gone, Dawood said she had to deal with the practical details."What was I going to do with their stuff?" she said. "Their bags? Shahzadas clothes and things were in my cabin, so I packed his bags. But I didnt pack Sulemans. I couldnt. Someone else did that."RODEO STAR'S SON REMEMBERED BY FAMILY ON 1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF DROWNING DEATHLast year, the Coast Guard released a report, calling the implosion a "preventable tragedy," blaming OceanGates culture of avoiding regulating and "negligence" on safety."From the beginning, I had a lot of reasons to hate Stockton, but does that really help me?" Dawood said. "He died with them. If Im angry with him, Im giving him power, and I refuse to do that. Im sure people will say Im naive, but if I start to analyse every single thing, where does that lead me? So, I choose my own not happiness but I choose me, every day. If I dont, I wouldnt be here. I would have killed myself, for sure."She added that she tries to give her grief "attention.""So I go into Sulemans room. Sometimes I find the cat sleeping on his pillow and I sit on the bed and let the grief come," she admitted. "And after a while I can put the grief away until the next time it gets too much. Ive worked a lot on my grief for Suleman, but Im only now starting to grieve for my husband. Publicly they are always put together, but they are two different relationships. Twovery different pains."